why must I pay for what others have done? Why are their mistakes only causing me to suffer?
I've done nothing to make you keep me at arms length, and yet there I sit, waiting for you to let me in.
I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, I prefer it rests in your hands, but you drop it and retreat,
scared, determined to keep your walls, keep your mystery.
it hurts, and its frustrates, and i feel angry! Angry at them, angry at you, angry at myself for finding myself in this position again.
You say not too fast, but your actions seem to race and as quickly as you do you've disappeared again
I'm confused and I'm alone in this, wondering what I did, wondering what you are doing.
My care is not for what you've done, or the choices you made when you were young.
My concern is for who you are know, how you handle what you've been given and also how you handle me. That's where the worry comes, because you are inconsistent. Roughness is not the problem, not handling me at all is the rub. I feel like a doll on the shelf that is forgotten and collects dust with my fixed smile and sad eyes.
You show me tenderness and begin to open up, but you can just as easily give me nothing, not an inch of budge and I stand there
feeling the pain of a one sided affair, knowing the scene I've experienced enough to wish it was different somehow.
Maybe I should learn my lesson, leave you be, move on to the next possible center of my attention.
Possibly it's my fault for being available and giving you what you want, when you don't know you want it.

My hope is that I can have the patience to see you through this, and that you can have the sense to notice me there, waiting for you to see me for what i am. I want to be your biggest fan. I want to be your muse, your positive influence, the one you look at and smile because i give you something you never even knew you were living without.

Maybe I can't compete. Maybe I came to late in the game that is your life and there's just no chance of holding my own against the obstacles you placed through your choices and mistakes. It's possible there's just not room for one more submission.

only time, love, patience and honesty will be able to tell...